Hey there guys, whats going on?  Not too much here, just chillin over at Trish's house doin a whole bunch of nothin but playing on the computer just passing the time away before I have to be home.  Anywho, wow me and Trish have done a few things weekend.  Jason, Tirshs little brother. hung out with us too.  The night before last, we went to Rocket Lanes and Chris meet us up there and then we went to wal mart and took silly pictures and then we went to pier and took more silly pictures, it was GREAT!!!  Anywho, Saturday was a week for me and Chris and things seem to be going ok, but you can only live one day at a time and you can't rush things like this.  Anywho, not a lot I really have to say, I just figured that I would update seeing as I don't as much as I used to because I have myspace too so keeping both updated is kind of tough.  Aight, I'm out!!

~*~XOXO~*~

It's not enough to have a dream unless your willing to pursue it.
It's not enough to know what's right, unless your strong enough to do it.
It's not enough to learn the truth, unless you also learn to live it.
It's not enough to reach for love unless you care enough to give it

Sing from the heart, dream from the soul, smile to the stars, love like you'll never let go

let's become little old ladies together -we'll stay up late looking at old pictures telling "remember when" stories, and laughing till our sides ache. Let's become eccentric together-the kind of old ladies who take long walks wear silly hats, and get away with acting outrageous in public places. And if anybody should ask how long we've been friends we'll say, "Oh, forever - since before you were even born!" Let's become little old ladies together-because a friendship that's as special as ours can only grow better throgh the years.

When he holds me close & I can hear his heartbeat & kiss his lips, I realize, this is where I want to be & this is how I want to feel

life would be so dull without my blonde moments

Boy: I need someone to talk to
Girl: I’m always here for you
Boy: I know
Girl: What’s wrong?
Boy: I like her so much
Girl: talk to her
Boy: I don’t know. She won't ever like me
Girl: don’t say that. You’re amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel
Girl: then tell her
Boy: she won't like me
Girl: how do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell
Girl: well just tell her
Boy: what should I say
Girl: tell her how much you like her
Boy: I tell her that daily
Girl: what do you mean?
Boy: Im always with her. I love her.
Girl: i know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me
Boy: wait. Who do you like?
Girl: oh some boy
Boy: oh... she won't like me either.
Girl: she does
Boy: how do you know..
Girl: because who wouldn’t like you.
Boy: you
Girl: you’re wrong, I love you.
Boy: I love you too
Girl: so are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did.

too much drama up in this fake-hearted school. the preps, the goths, the less-than cool. where it starts and stops, who's to define? who's to be trusted and where to draw the line? screaming and crying and all the useless chatter. you live, you die, only life is what matters. filled with smiles, lies and fears; welcome to the magic of high school years.

Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And, years later tell how they stood for hours in the cold rain just to catch a glimpse of the one who taught them to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us who keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams

i remember the first time i fell for you, i knew then and there that it was meant to be.... and i haven't gotten up since.

Sometimes I think that things that should have been different, feelings should have been there that weren't.  Thoughts made better than what they were.  How you let someone know who you feel when you don't even how you feel for sure?  Isn't weird?  You think that you know love and you think that you are happy, but honeslt, what is love?  What is happiness and how do you know if you are settling or if it's real?  How do you know or so you have to be told or do you JUST KNOW?  I just don't get it, I thought I loved him, I thought I was happy, I thought he was it, I thought that I would never leave him.  He was perfect for me and we were perfect together... that is until the fights, the words, the broken dates, the forgotten things.  How many times must I suffer until I find something great?  Now I can't blame this all on him because I have done some pretty messed up things myself, but then again who hasn't?  There is no way that I can justify what I have done and why I have hurt him.  I guess it just wasn't real on my part.  The feelings have to be mutual for it to work, they can't be one-sided only.  Like there are two sides to every story, there are to sides to people feelings about love and relationships.  All I want is to be happy, that's it.  Nothing more.  I want love, accpetance, trust, communication, faith, LOYALTY, hope, desire... I want it all, but I guess only perfect relationships have it all and I in no way have perfect relationships.  Sometimes I feel like I lead people on, I KNOW I DO because of the fact that I HATE HURTING PEOPLE!!!  It hurts me and I don't like to hurt so I pretend to feel one way when I really don't, but it was real and it was there just not as much as his was.   Sorry this is so long guys, I am venting.  I am gonna go now.

~*~XOXO~*~

G0D'S ANSWERS
- It's impossible = All things are possible ( Luke, 18:27 )
- I'm too tired = I will give you rest ( Matt, 11:28-30 )
- Nobody really loves me = I love you ( John, 3:16 )
- I can't go on = My grace is sufficient ( II Cor, 12:19 )
- I can't figure things out - I will direct your steps ( Prov, 20:24 )
- I can't do it = You can do all things ( Phil, 4:13 )
- I'm not able = I am able ( II Cor, 9:8 )
- It's not worth it = It will be worth it ( Rom, 8:1 )
- I can't forgive myself = I forgive you ( I John, 1:9 & Rom, 8:1 )
- I can't manage = I will supply all your needs ( Phil, 4:19 )
- I'm afraid = I have not given you a spirit of fear ( IITim, 1:7 )
- I'm always worried & frustrated = Cast all your cares on Me ( I Pet, 5:7 )
- I don't have enough faith = I've given everyone a measure of faith ( Rom

Hey guys, just sitting here waiting on Brian to get here so we can go out.  Anywho, today sucked, lets see, an old friend is starting SOO much drama between me and some other friends so WHATEVER, some people are so immature.   Whatever, I am better off without them because they do nothing but bring me down.  I don't need things and people like that in my life, just too much drama for one year, this is my senior year and I so am going to make the best of it.  Anywho.  The 20th of this month will be two months for me and Brian.  OMG!!  Guys confuse me so much!!  Those of you that I talked to in class about this then you will be the ONLY ONES to know what I was just talking about there.  Anywho.  I love Brian.  I love Brian.  I love Brian.  I love Brian.  Anywho.  Ok, Friday night is the 4th, out last home game and three months since Emily has been gone.  I just looked to see how many people joined her blogring and still two people, yeah she really some great friends, good job guys on how you let her know it.  TWO PEOPLE ARE ALL THAT CARED ENOUGH TO JOIN???  Wow, weither lazy people or just liars but whatever, it's not up to me.  Alright I guess I am done for now, longer update maybe later on!

~*~XOXO~*~